Dalam beberapa bulan kebelakangan ni, I have this one instafemes yang I always browse her instagram just to view her life in a day. Included benda benda yang dia share, apa yang dia fikir, apa yang dia luah. Just to fill my own cup of entertainment. Not knowing that later on I started to want to have things that she has. She is a shopee affiliate, so she shares many things that are convenient, plausible but actually would be really working at least for me haha.
Nevertheless, everything that she bought on shopee, from little to big things, I added to my cart. Especially clothes. Abayas. Hijabs. Things that make your appearance sparkle, people impressed, some might wonder where in the world did you get that. Everything is beautiful and everything deems “kemegahan” as every woman’s desires. And every time I wanted to buy new clothes, I must say “nak yang macam dia beli.” “nak macam yang dia pakai.”
Little did I know, I am seeping into destruction. To not being grateful for what I have, for what I actually need, for what I am. I am simple. I dont need high-priced things or high-end brands. I am actually high demand on the food section — my husband acknowledges. The fact that I started to act like a woman who wants everything that someone has, and desperately wants the same things on that person to be on me, is really pathetic and absurd.
This epiphany bleeds in me after a video of Ustazah Asma’ Harun fated to be seen by me. And upon watching, I felt so ashamed like I have never felt in my life, I felt intense and instant regret.
“Suasana di Mahsyar ni, RasūlūLlāh ﷺ bersabda, barangsiapa yang meninggalkan pakaian kemegahan kerana tawadhuknya pada ALlah, bukan kerana dia tidak mampu, maka dia akan diberikan pakaian di mahsyar kelak.”
— Hadith Sahih Muslim
And thats it. I stopped added things to my cart. I stopped being interested in what she shares on shopee. I stopped watching her story in a few days and AlhamduliLlah I am on my track back. Now I am happier with my own cloak of myself, on my skin.
I am so grateful that ALlah paved me to view that video. I love reminders. Ibrah that I comprehend from what happened to me is bersederhanalah in everything. Indeed, wasatiyyah is the best way to live.